act 6 scene 1

For about the last six months I’ve been trying - with moderate success - to learn to dance ceroc.  For those of you who don’t know about this salsa/jive fusion you can find out more at one of their many websites.  It is a fairly easy form of male led partner dance that has found huge popularity around the country. Easy enough in fact that I, previously a complete non-dancer, have been able to reach a moderate level of competency within these six months.

There are three things that stand out for me about my ceroc experience.

Number one - it’s a new and fun form of physical exercise.  Particularly on faster songs, it can really make you quite breathless.  I guess it took me a couple of months to get to that stage, but now I usually regret forgetting to stretch by the morning.

Two - expressing myself through dance and keeping time to the music creates primal satisfaction.  There is something at the core of my being which is deeply satisfied by moving rhythmically to music.  Retrospectively, my slightly chaotic dancing around the house to no one was a clear indication of this.  Ceroc - and any form of partner dance - takes this primal urge, adds a common language of moves and signals, and creates a means by which two people can dance together harmoniously.

Lastly - The lead-follow relationship between male and female is really quite staggering.

In essence the man leads and the girl follows, but in this very simple relationship are worlds of complexity.  Some girls will actually try to lead, other girls are a little too tense, still others are not tense enough (many moves echo the compression or stretching of a spring so this is important).  Finally there are those who are really easy to lead.  I can’t comment on how I lead (having not danced with myself) - although various people who I’ve danced with have complimented my leading style (typically those that are easy to lead).  Over time I’ve found that in many of the above situations it is possible to compensate for a particular follow style by assuming a much stronger lead - signaling and moving more explicitly and deliberately - but leading strongly is harder work.

There is also an element of trust - trusting your partner to do what you want, or for the girls - trusting them to lead you responsibly and smoothly.  Finally, the more you dance with a particular individual the easier it becomes - it’s possible to anticipate the moves being led and also know what moves the girl enjoys doing.

There is an analogy to be had.

Let’s take romantic relationships for a moment - and go further to assume the biblical model of a male led relationship.

The majority of relationships can work - but some are harder than others.  I think that this is ultimately down to the lead-follow relationship.  How good a lead the guy is and how good a follow the girl is.  That in turn is down to a good mutual understanding of a common language and having a bond of trust and experience.  Like dancing, it’s a complicated learning process that starts with moves being in the head and somewhat clumsy but with effort become semi-automatic and smoother.  Of course - it is iterative - once you have the basics pinned down you can include more and more complex moves.

None of this is automatically easy.  Whilst some lead-follow pairs may be more natural than others, after a certain point it is going to be hard work learning ever more complex moves.  Having said that, the longer you are in a relationship with an individual the easier it is to anticipate and know how the other will respond in given situations.

So my observations have led me to conclude that in the same way as dancing is highly enjoyable and satisfying once you have the basic moves down - so are relationships once the dynamics are understood and the movements are taught to each other.

The question then becomes: How can this be applied in real life?